In raising your child, you will need to discipline the child in such an effective way. To make your disciplinary act effective, the child should learn from it. Discipline and punishment are two different things. By punishing your child, you are only giving him or her hardship or pain to suffer from and not the lessons from which he or she will learn.
To discipline your child, there are things that you are actually teaching your child to:
- Learn right from wrong.
- Respect other people’s rights.
- Learn to distinguish the right and acceptable behavior from the unacceptable one.
Example of Discipline vs Punishment
Throwing the coloring pencils on the floor is not a good behavior.
Scolding the child and sending him to the room
Better way of disciplining your child
An explanation about the bad behavior and that such action may also break the pencils and affect the floor is important and needed. Let him pick the pencils and put them in the proper case. It is best if you will take the pencils as a form of withdrawing pleasures as a consequence of the wrong behavior.
Through this discipline, the child will learn to associate the consequences as a result of his actions.
Desired outcome from proper discipline:
- The child will feel secured and loved
- The child will become confident
- The child will learn to control self and develop self-discipline
- The child does not easily gets frustrated in life
How to Discipline Your Child
As the disciplining parent, by being consistent of your rules, regulations, and principles at home, you are instilling a good discipline in the life of your child.
If the child is disciplined because of one offense, make sure that, the next time he does it again, you will still give discipline him or her. If you will show weakness, your child will never learn from it, but will only exploit you and ignore your authority.
Basic Facts about Discipline
Be composed and stay calm
Yelling and screaming to your child while scolding him or her will not help improve the situation nor your child’s behavior. As much as possible, keep your self-composure and be calm so that you can say the right words and the right solution to the situation.
Give commands once or twice
Once is enough when giving commandments, but if the situation demands you to repeat the command, say it once again. But after the second time and your child still refused to obey, make an action as a consequence for his or her behavior. If you keep repeating the commandment, your child will only think that you do not intend to do what you are saying.
Use “I” instead of “Me”
When you give your message as a discipline, use “I” instead of “Me” to emphasize your point. Kids tend to misunderstand a statement that starts with “you” as an accusation. To help your child understand the point, avoid giving him bad feelings as well.
When you discipline your child, make the criticism constructive and not destructive. It is the behavior of the child that should be changed. By telling your child that you love him or her while pointing out that his or her behavior is not proper, you will be able to help the child grow up with better self-esteem.
Avoid over praising
A timely praise for a job well done is helpful to the child, but over praising your child for the same achievement or behavior will only give the child an impression that other misbehavior will not matter. See to it that the child is properly given attention for each achievement and proper discipline for the misbehavior.
Responsibility and routine
Responsibilities at home and daily routines will mold the child to become a better person. Daily routines should be consistently followed, and failure to do it would mean discipline.
A spank on the child may leave the child full of anger. A discipline depends on you, but with a better explanation of the things done and its consequences, a spanking may not be needed on particular time. In case the child becomes extreme in misbehaving, it is best if you know what to do with your child. Professional help may be of great assistance.
Giving your child some rewards for doing well and behaving right is a good motivation. Your child will treasure each reward from you, not just because of the pleasure it gives, but because of the lessons learned from it.
Be an example
The best example that a child can have is you. What you want your child to do should be seen in you. Teach your child through your actions. What you show him is what he will become.
There should be no arguments
Never argue with your child even if he keeps on saying his piece. If the discipline is needed, give it to him without arguing. What you need to do is to explain why his behavior is not proper. In case the child points out something, tell him to speak out after the discipline for him to have enough time to calm down.